Ode to the Full Moon and Summer Time

Stonehenge: wikipedia

On Tuesday evening (6/21), I carved out a little time for my full moon ritual. It was also Litha or summer solstice. Even more reason for me to acknowledge the calendar.

The thing I love about mish-mashing my way through these times is that I can make them as elaborate or as simple as I like. Tuesday was simple, but meaningful. And powerful. I would have loved doing this outside, but it wasn't going to happen... heat, humidity, haze... not a great view of the beautiful moon. And I live underneath a bunch of 100 year old trees so it is late in the evening before I see her rise. This evening, I held my ritual inside.

I gathered my tools first...

matches

candle 

(I recently purchased a small while pillar candle for this evening)

white sage

incense

(my favorites are dragon's blood and nag champa)

slips of paper

pen

fireproof bowl

I settled in front of my altar. I smudged the area and all the tools I would be using. I started off by thinking about what things I needed to release or what behaviors needed changing. These full moon rituals are like a small New Year's resolutions. Each month, I get to purge energy that is dragging me down. I wrote the things that came to mind on my slips of paper.

I arranged my altar with things that are meaningful for me. Shells, ocean water, selenite, a large shell that holds the sage, sage, candles. 

One by one, I read my slips of paper out loud... "I release this... Be gone!" One by one, I placed the strips into my bowl and set them on fire. 

When each slip of paper had been reduced to ashes, I thanked the Moon and the power and energy that surrounds this kind of evening and welcomed the summer. This was my ritual.

Each one of us can find a meaningful way to mark the sabbats and esbats. The rules, for me, are meaningless. I try to create a template and then fill it in, depending on the time and setting. It takes the stress out of the planning and makes if feel free rather than restrictive.  

If someone tries to tell you... "You need to do it precisely this way or else"... just smile and walk away. 

If you are mish-mashing your way through this journey, creating a new path, I hope you will share your thoughts with me. 

Zen #atozblogchallenge

Morgan Mistretta
@thatncphotographer

I've done it. I've gotten to the end of this blog challenge. I managed to get every letter, even though I was late with some posts. But I finished it out. 

I'm ending with "zen" and some quotes to help find that place, that space, the quiet, the altar where we meet ourselves.

“Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world earth revolves - slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future.” 

― Thich Nhat Hanh 

“Letting go is the lesson. Letting go is always the lesson. Have you ever noticed how much of our agony is all tied up with craving and loss?” 

― Susan Gordon Lydon 

“Not thinking about anything is Zen. Once you know this, walking, sitting, or lying down, everything you do is Zen.” 

― Bodhidharma 

“Who we are now is all that really matters.” 

― Amy Joy 

“You don't think your way back to joy; you open to it.” 

― Donna Quesada

Xenophobia #atozblogchallenge

We are so afraid.

Of the one who is not the same.

Of the one who is the nonconformist.

Of the one who will not adhere to social norms.

We are so afraid of the one who will speak up and speak out and look different and be different and sound different and worship differently and love differently.

Wars are started because we will not be tolerant of others differences.

Riots break out because we are not happy when someone wants the same rights as us… 

When they do it, it looks odd.

The Baptist are afraid of the Pentecostals.

Christians are afraid of Muslims.

Whites and blacks… and browns.

They have a funny accent.

Can’t they just speak English?

It makes me uncomfortable to see public displays of affection in public.

And my children are watching for gods sake!

The truth is that we all come in the same place.

We all die and go into the ground.

We all bleed the same blood!  

We cry the same salty bitter tears.

We are the same… in so many more ways than we are different.

I have a friend… No really an acquaintance. I like to think of her is my nemesis, even though I'm told I'm too old to have a nemesis!! 

Never!

At one time we thought similarly.

But as I've aged and my children have pushed me beyond boundaries I never thought I'd see and after I faced ostracization and shunning from a community that was supposed to be loving… I have changed the way I see people.

I don't have a lot of patience with narrow minded views. I see them as bigots. As homophobic and as racist.

Those are harsh accusations. And I standby them because of the actions I've seen. But in reality I have tried to become more tolerant towards them, because I see them as ignorant.

Ignorant

[ig-ner-uh nt]

adjective

1.lacking in knowledge or training; unlearned:

an ignorant man.

2.lacking knowledge or information as to a particular subject or fact:

ignorant of quantum physics.

3.uninformed; unaware.

4.due to or showing lack of knowledge or training:

an ignorant statement.

Ignorance can be fixed.

With education and communication.

And patience.

No, I don't claim to be enlightened. Life experiences have changed me.

Hard questions that could no longer be answered from my belief system.

Doubt which led to personal research.

History that became tradition and mythology rather than fact.

Falling in love with people who were … different.

I'm still ignorant. But my mind and heart are open to people.

Not their religion.

Not there gender identification.

Not there sexual orientation.

Not their differences.

But our similarities.

Woman #atozblogchallenge

Vilified since Lilith
Even before Eve took a bite
Creating licentiousness and lust

Your curves and your curls
The bat of your eyes
The sway of your hips

The way you whisper coyly
And vex men's hearts
Causing them to stumble along their paths

Temptress
Vixen
Maybe you are even a harlot

Always drawing them to the edge
Because without your sweet sin
Their species would not plunge into your softness

Woman
The cause of the fall
But also the creator of all

Venus #atozblogchallenge

Venus

Goddess of beauty

Sexuality

Erotica

She was not afraid to pursue the one she desired.

But Venus represents the fertile imagination also.

She encourages us to create something incredible.

She stimulates our creativity.

While she may be pure libido and passion,

this passion can easily extend into other aspects of our lives.

Venus lives in us all when we pursue love with abandon.

Or when we are creating something new.

Do not resist her drive. The gods were unable to resist her.

And you are a mere mortal.

Let her consume you as she did her lovers.

Watch what she gives birth to in your life.

Universe #atozblogchallenge

I have a theory.

My theory is that all the things that we see and even things that we cannot see are made up of energy. And that all of this energy is somehow connected. My theory is that the universe and all that is in it is a type of organism. And when any part of the organism suffers then it affects the other parts. It might not always affect the whole drastically, in a way that you can see. For example; when we know that the rain forest is being depleted, we don't necessarily see immediate impact on us here in the states. But we are impacted.

My theory has been put to a serious test of late, on a couple of accounts.

Lately, I feel like I am bleeding friends. And family.

As a part of this organism in this present universe, this loss has affected me, yet I guess I am such a minute part that the over all affect is barely perceptible. It causes me to wonder at my own ability to perceive the pain and sadness in others, even as an intuitive and empathetic person.

I have a friend who says he asks the Universe for what he wants. He projects that desire and that energy out. I have another friend who has these dreams that feel like energetic universal connections. It's as if the people in his dreams are sending signals. Or maybe his dreams are signals he's sending.

I know this half baked theory of mine is really only part of a true theory. Only I'm trying to develop my way to it rather than read a book and follow some guru. So for now, the idea of universal energy and connectedness is very mystical and magical for me. And is something I daydream about.

Truth #atozblogchallenge

words by Pablo Neruda

Words we speak cover up reality.

We say, “Yes, I can do that for you.”
We say, “Thank you, I love it.”
We say, “Oh, it's no trouble.”

The truth is in the tears you cry before you get out of bed in the morning.
The truth is the avoidance you do because you just don't have an answer.
The truth is you are just way too tired to do one more thing and even though it sounds like fun you just can't.
The truth is that your fear is bigger than the desire.

Truth is rarely ever what we say.
Like rose-colored glasses, our words are our attempts to make everything sound so much better than what it really is.

But the truth… is what you do.

Oracle of Delphi #atozchallenge

During the Greco-Roman era, oracles were sought for counsel and even for predictions. Their advice was heeded as if from the gods.

The Oracle of Delphi was never doubted and she was considered the most accurate of all the oracles.

The Oracle was a female priestess called Pythia. 

Before she would answer, the Pythia would prepare herself, ritually and speak in ecstatic utterances.

Some of her words still survive.

"Make your own nature, 

not the advice of others, 

your guide in life."

Words to Cicero on how to find the greatest fame.

Neglect #atozblogchallenge

Health.

Spirituality.

Chores.

Friends.

Family.

Love....

Things we don't think about, and sometimes avoid or neglect. When we do, they can fall into disrepair or we can become estranged. It is always difficult to regain lost ground, but no attempt means you've given up.

Masks #atozblogchallenge

Hide behind smiles 

 Hold the mask tight 

Keep up appearances 

Stifle those tears 

 Pick yourself up 

 And when you do... 

You will be your own hero!

Liminal Spaces #atozblogchallenge

Transition is always hard. Like the threshold between where you have been and where you want to be. It is a grey area because you aren't sure what it is yet. 


Liminal Spaces.


When one finds herself in a liminal space, it can feel scary and exciting. It seems like there is a forever wait, floating, hovering... between the structure of what is known, whether stifling or not, and something out there and uncertain.

Rest, but be ready. It's almost time.

Kali #atozblogchallenge

Kali has always been my favorite goddess. I think she is completely misunderstood. Yes, she is the goddess of destruction...


But here is the rest of the story. The demon, Raktabija, was terrorizing the people. And whenever a drop of his blood was shed, another demon appeared. There were so many... A super goddess was needed to defeat them. All of their forces combined to create Kali, the dark mother, who defeated all the demons by swallowing them whole and then chopped off Raktabija's head and drank all his blood.

Awesome!!

 

Inspiration #atozblogchallenge

@GenCept.com

There were too many words for I... So I went for the easy reach and chose "Inspiration"... well mostly because I am behind and I want to get words out and I want to get "I" checked off...

Other "I" words that I could have used... Invoke and Intention...  These are definitely topics for a future blogpost.

It's been awhile since I've blogged, so I still feel very sluggish in my writing. But I know the only thing to get over that is to "Sit the hell down and write" as Patty Digh would say. So... here I sit.

I was inspired to begin this blog by another blogger who is an artist and a writer (check out those links). His stories are funny and real and heartbreaking. And every day, I can expect to get a nudge from him... "Loved your H and I posts"... Hint, hint!!  But it is what I need... Someone who listens to me speak my dreams and then expects me to follow through on them.

If you don't have one of those... find one.

I am also inspired by this thing that tugs at me and pulls me... this goddessy-woo-woo-mystical stuff that drags me underneath the moon and urges me to build a fire and makes me want to sing and even howl!! I'm trying to figure out who she is. I feel like she is mother, sister, daughter all rolled into one. She needs me. I need Her. I am HER! My postings here will lean towards the "woo woo" as I explore and walk this path.

I've even recently been inspired enough to share a secret that only one or two people knew previously... but they are not in my sphere right now. So I trepidatiously shared with one or two others. I want to create a local space where others can gather and find resources and where they can share their ideas and find community. This will more than likely end up being a retail type space, but something that has always stayed with me since my days in the "Emerging Conversation" (that I got involved with about 10 years ago or so) is the idea of "3rd Spaces". I want to create a space like one I am searching for:

a place outside of work and home
a place where conversations happen
a place where you can share a bottle of wine or a pitcher of beer
a place to gather as a group and go walk or do yoga
a place where you find kindreds who want to give back to the community
a place where you find people deconstructing and reconstructing ideas and projects.
a place where you can find resources and neighbors that can assist you on your path.

I want a space like that. I want to create a space like that.

Goddess #atozblogchallenge

Carl Jung talks about archetypes as patterns that repeat. A friend on Facebook poses this question this week:

"Have you ever noticed, most futuristic movies have a woman leader? In which most of these movies portray a dystopian future for us all!"

It has caused me to think about archetypes. And a book I read a few years ago called, "When God Was a Woman" by Merlin Stone. (I highly recommend it.)

Before Christ, before history, the belief is that the goddess ruled. She didn't rule in a dualistic or opposing way to god. She ruled as a mother. As a nurturer. As a creator. (I always questioned how god was the creator when women were created to have babies.) In the matriarchal society, the children belonged to the mother. Inheritances passed through the female. That makes so much more sense... because the female keeps the children, the property, the control of the family unit. And the society supports one another.

When a tribal band of desert dwellers came into their land, they took control by force. They split families up, sending them into other parts of the countryside and the men of these invading nations dominated the women, raped them, impregnated them and forced the goddess underground. They tore down the places of worship and called them an abomination. They twisted the feminine into something evil. Patriarchy took over.

All of this has me thinking... If life is about patterns, archetypes, characters that we see replayed over and again throughout history, maybe these movies are a foretelling of a time to come when the goddess re-emerges and life comes under the rule of matriarchy once again.

I believe in the rise of the goddess culture. Again, I don't believe the intent is to oppose men, but it is not compatible with patriarchy. Goddess culture, to me, is the encouragement to use your voice and tell your story, to write your own rules and to live by them, to live and dwell in peace and to allow others to do the same.

The Letter F #atozblogchallenge

F is for…

Fear and freedom.

They kind of go hand in hand.

They also are closely aligned with faith.

Once upon a time, when I was a "good woman", when I conformed to my community’s standards, before I painted my door purple and cut my hair and threw away all my skirts… I was fearful. The thing that kept me so controlled and anxious was my faith. My beliefs were very patriarchal and male driven. As a woman, I was to be silent, subservient and submissive. Being a strong and “bossy” female, I was accused of being controlling. I was only trying to help everyone to conform as well I did. However, all I was really doing was keeping up appearances.

When my faith began to crumble due to failing to stand up to scrutiny, I began to feel a freedom, as I never had. When the threat of hell and the fear of “God’s” disapproval began to diminish, I realized I was a good person without that threat. I was a moral and kind and generous person. Nothing about me had changed. But the weight of the fear and shame began to lift.

Faith, for me, is about creating a lifestyle of peace, meditation and ritual. I have touchstones in my life that help me to travel through the year. I take time, when I am able, to recognize and slow down for times, like the new and full moon.  I like to light a fire, play music, maybe dance, set intentions and reflect on what just passed or what is to come.

Empath #atozblogchallenge

I could give you the textbook definition of empath. But I would rather tell you how it feels to me.

Being an empath means feeling everything. It's like being an emotional sponge. I absorb energy and sometimes I don't even know where it's from. Some people talk about having a thick skin. But being in empath is like having translucent and porous skin. All of my feelings are right on the surface and very sensitive.

Sometimes, when friends confide or talk to me, I will carry those emotions with me for days. Sometimes, when people with strong personalities are part of my life, I feel muted. It's not necessarily that the other personality is "too much", it's more that my personality feels blanketed. I don't think people with strong personalities should feel like they have to cloak their personalities.  But I know that for me, I have not learned to put my shields up when I'm interacting with these kinds of personalities.

When I feel overwhelmed by another personality, it feels a bit like drowning in someone else's energy and I am guilty of pulling away. A lot of times that is misunderstood. Something I'm learning to do is to not get drawn in to others sensitivities at the risk of my own peace.

As an empathic person, I can be a wonderful listener, but I feel like a terrible friend. As an empathic person, I am sensitive and nurturing but I can be cold and distant. As an empathic person, I can become completely consumed by someone one minute and repulsed the next. It's not usually anything yet a person is done. Like a sponge, I reach a saturation point. And when I don't squeeze out the excess energy, I just drown.

Being empathic means feeling like you are never reacting to your own emotions. Empaths have to learn to put their shields up. They have to learn to squeeze out other people’s excess. They have to learn when to close out the world. I'm not very good at communicating when I begin shutting down. And it has happened to everyone who loves me. Everyone. I'm only just now beginning to recognize the patterns in my life and how they are directly related to my empathic sensitivities.

As an empathic person, I can be the best and the worst. It is such a paradox. It is very difficult to understand. Sometimes it's very difficult to love. I'm beginning to understand that, too. But I also know that if I'm not cautious and careful for myself, no one else is going to be. Nobody knows how it feels. No one experiences the searing pain when I want to crawl out of my skin. No one knows the wrench in my gut because the grief is so gripping. No one understands the buzz of voices that run in my brain so loudly that I can't even hear myself think. No one gets it. Or least very few people do.

If you find yourself recognizing any of this in your own self, start looking into empaths; because maybe you are one. And if you're recognizing these patterns in someone you love, maybe they are one. It can be very difficult to stay steady.  If you're an empath, you may find you have many friends, many people who care and love and even adore you. And you probably don't even understand why. Learn to communicate when things hurt too much. Learn to explain why you feel the need to check out. People take that stuff personally. I get it. I'm just not very good at explaining it to those in my life.